Hi there! If you have any funny jokes e-mail "Harry the Clown" and we will stick your joke on this page. I also need funny nursery rhymes for Dazzle Duck too!

 Joke page was updated  2nd June, 2015

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Europe who?
No, You're a poo.
Sent in by Daniel Eccleston

Q: What is brown and sticky?

A: A Stick.
Sent in byJennifer

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medical cabinet?

A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Sent in by Natalie Sanford 

Q: What to the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
A: Nothing! He just let out a little wine. Hahahaha.
Sent in by Josephine Ramos

Q: What do you call a Race Car that can't race?
A: A car.
Sent in by Chris Hess

 Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand?
 Q: I will meet you in a hour.
Sent in by Alejandro Gromes

Q: Why did the zebra cross the road?

A: He found a zebra crossing.
Sent in by Lisa Lee 

Q: Why did the man ride the bull?
A: It was to heavy to carry
Sent in by Jordan Davies

Q: what does Lightning wear under their pants?
A: Thunderwear.
Sent in by Melissa Naidoo

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming
Sent in by Tiffany

I went to the store the other day to buy some camouflage pants
but I couldn't find any.
Sent in by Tasha Perry

Hi Mr. Harry! I am Kristiana Jones. Here's my joke.

Q: Why did the cow say moo to the farmer?
 A: Because he couldn't say get out of my way!

Q:What did the math book say to the other math book?                
 A: BOY, do I have problems!
Sent in by Aaron Dunn

Q: What did the cake say to the knife?
A: You wanna piece of me!

Sent in by R Doherty

Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can't tuna fish!

Sent in by H Aksenov

Q: What did the camera say when going to the shops?
A: I'll be back in a flash.

Sent in by C Newcomb

Q: What do you call a Bear what has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.

Sent in by O Foster

Mr and Mrs Invisible had a baby. But he wasn't very much to look at.
Sent in by Joy Collins.

Q: What is a Snakes favorite subject at school?
A: Hissstory!

Sent in by R Hogge

A child asked his father: "What is a man?"
The father replies, "A person who takes responsibility for his family
 and his house and takes care of them."
Then the child said, "I hope I will be a man like Mum one day."

Sent in by D Gray

Q: What do you call a dinosaur wearing high-heels?
A: My - feet - are - saurus

Sent in by Marshell

Q: We're do you put a noisy dog?
A: In the barking lot! Ha ha

Sent in by Marshell

Q: What's the difference between outlaws and inlaws
A: outlaws are wanted

Sent in by Marshell

A sardine saw a bunch of people in a submarine and said, "Cool, a can of people."
Sent in by T Madi

Have you heard the story of the skunk?
Never mind it stinks!

Sent in by Bee Gee

Q:why did the man ride the bull?
A:it was to heavy to carry. Haha

Sent in by J Davies

Why was the tomato red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

Sent in by C Frazier

Why did the man catch his nose?
Because it was running

Sent in by Maryanne

What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrots.

Sent in by Demak

Nacho: why will you not taco to me? :(
Taco: because I'm nacho friend anymore!

Sent in by Jennifer 12

Where do Military Generals keep their armies?
In their sleevies!

Sent in by M Weathers

How do u make a tissue dance?
You put a boogie in it

Sent in by Mark.

What has a baboon's bottom , a lions mane, and a penguin's beak?
A Zoo.

Sent in by Oak Roberts

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ghosts go.
Ghosts go who?
No silly ghosts go boo.
Sent in by from Beth

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I had a brick
I'd throw it at you.
Sent in by M Price

Q: What did the wall say to the other wall?
A: Meet you at the corner!

Sent in by Kennedy

What did yoda say at the dinner table?
May the forks be with you!! Hee hee

Sent in by Isaac

Q. WherE did tHe cow Go On hoLiday?
A. TO Moo-Zealand.

Q. HOw do You count a GrOup of cowS?
A. with a coW-cULator.
Sent in by Ben Suffield

Old Mother Hubbard went to the closet
To find her poor daughter a dress.
When she got there,
The closet was bare
And so is her daughter, I guess!
Sent in by Buttons the Clown

Q: What did the frog order from Mc Donalds?
A: A order of flies and a diet croak!
Sent in by D Tonkin.

Q: Why is it dangerous to do maths in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4 and 4, you get ate!!

Q: Why did the boy eat his homework
A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Q: Why did the sheep say "moo"?
A: It was learning a new language!

Q: What goes hahaha plop?
A: Someone laughing their head off!

Two TV antennas got married last weekend.
The wedding wasn't bad but the reception was beautiful!

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.

Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A: Wonkey!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.

Q: What is the best time to go to the Dentist?
A: Tooth hurty!


Q: What's the difference between an circus elephant and an egg?
A: If you don't know, I hope you don't do the grocery shopping!

Q: What did one toe say to the other?
A: Don't look now, but there's a heel following us.

Q: What did the rug say to the floor?
A: I've got you covered!

Q: Why do gorilla’s have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A. I think I'm coming down with something!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Beause it had no guts.

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!

Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!

Q: Where do sheep go to get a haircut?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!

Roses are red
violets are blue
your face looks funny
lets all laugh at you

This Rhyme came from Shannon.

Q: What do you call an elephant that never takes a bath?
A: A smellyphant.

Q: What do you call Bob the Builder after he retires?
A: Bob.

Q: What did Snow White call her chicken?
A: Egg white.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go MOOOOOO!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldoser.

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A: Dam!

Q: Where does a rabbit go when it loses it's tail?
A: To the retail store, of course.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Its easier than walking!


Q: What has 4 legs and an arm?
A: A pit bull!

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.

Q: What the difference between Broccoli and Boogers?
A: Kids won't eat their broccoli!

Q: Why did Tigger look down the toilet?
A: He was looking for Pooh!

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses

Q: What do clouds wear under their clothes?
A: Thunderwear!

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven eight nine!

.Q: What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A: A Bunny Fart!

Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear
when he offered him some dessert?
A: No thank you, I am stuffed.

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Please phone 0274 468482 or Dial (04) from Wellington (04) 904 8084 (we live in the Kapiti Coast Area)